Chapter VIII

Producing A New Emotion Picture

There will always be the sound of thunder and chaos and ruin and death in the affairs of men and nations until they achieve God and enter into His tranquility.


The final step to peace is filled with promise. It focuses on you as a creator. The goal is to give you the keys to your kingdom within. They are in your hand right now, but with everything we try to hold on to, they are easily overlooked. So we begin this new creation process by emptying our grasp of everything except our will to create as we were created.

Creativity is a quality society holds in high regard. Now our need is to hold you, the individual creator, in equally high regard. This is not a call to arrogance, but enlightenment. It is impossible to overestimate our creative power. If we own who we really are, we return to the truth that we are infinite­ly powerful children of God, created by our Creator to create through perfect love and infinite wisdom. Now we will place our focus on making that Truth a living, personal reality.

To understand how such infinite creativity is achieved, let’s take a modern look at Plato’s ancient allegory. There is no need to reinvent the Platonic wheel.We are just going to put on a new tire and hubcap. The Grecian sage didn’t have the concept of a motion picture theater to draw upon. So we will apply a little of our modern entertainment technology to his description of our plight and potential enlightenment.

Your Emotion Picture Theater

From birth you have been seated in the shadows of your emotion picture theater. Up on the screen, you have been watching the repeated showing of the emotion picture, “This Is Your Life.” It is sometimes interesting, at other moments it is boring or commonplace. There are flashes of excitement, fifteen minutes of fame. There are rare occa­sions when romance lights up the screen. Religion also enters the picture. But too much pain and loneliness find their way into the scenario. As the movie continues, scenes are added. It’s a long production. Nothing about what you are seeing gets permanently better. Just longer. Your sense of dissatisfaction grows until, one day in a mood as dark as your theater you think, There has to be something better than this. Until you come to this thought, the show must go on ­ as is.

What you didn’t know is that seated right behind you is God’s Representative. He speaks for God. He has spoken to you on frequent occasions. Regrettably, you were so busy watching and listening to your feature attraction, you didn’t hear Him. Sometimes in a moment of quiet, you heard a Voice­not­your­own whispering truth to you. But you dis­missed it. It sounded too beautiful, too good to be true.

Your pain finally mutes the movie and you are ready to listen. Once again that same Voice speaks. He whispers softly, lest you become frightened, “What you are presently watching isn’t really your life, not the life God wills you to live. I know you have been caught up in it, but if you will do what I ask, I’ll show you a much happier picture, one that is much closer to Reality than this poor production.”

This still sounds too good to be true, but pain and frus­tration goad you on. There is no harm in trying. Hesitantly you agree to continue listening. How quickly you respond to the Voice’s challenge depends on how deeply motivated you are. Pain and past choices determine this. The deeper the dissatisfaction, the sooner you are ready to say, “Teach me whatever it is I need to learn.” Before reaching this threshold of transformation you had always hoped that someone would hand the Cosmic Projectionist In The Sky a happier emotion picture and you could watch happily ever after. Now you know that isn’t going to happen. You also have lost your taste for life’s popcorn and soda pop pleas­ures.

How the Person seated behind you can tell you are ready, you are not sure, but the moment you are, he says with calming confidence, “Follow me.” You turn around and follow Him toward the “exit” sign. Out of your matinee you walk into the bright sunlight. The Person guiding you is as radiant as the sun. The light is painful. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark. He waits until your vision becomes accustomed to the light.Then what happens next varies according to your personal need and preference. He seems to know exactly what that is. He may hand you a book, introduce you to a speaker, an enlightened friend or coun­selor. Or He may speak to you directly. The way the mes­sage is delivered varies, but its content is always the same:

What you were watching in your emotion picture theater is your “creation.” You are the producer, director, scriptwriter, actor, set designer, projectionist and projector. You are even the silver screen. You are totally responsible for everything you have ever seen on that screen.

The Moment of Truth

This is a major moment of Truth.  Years ago when I first heard this principle, it seemed to so fly in the face of con­ventional wisdom that I said, “Such an idea is utter non­sense.” I felt as overwhelmed as any “normal person” would. I reflected on this seemingly preposterous statement about total responsibility for one’s life and protested, “Look at all the things in the world over which I have no control. I didn’t start the wars we are fighting; I can’t keep the economy from recession. And what about germs, nasty neighbors and road rage warriors? I can’t control natural disasters like floods and tornados. For Lord sake, I can’t even control my own thoughts and feelings. How on earth can I be responsible for everything in my life?”

At that moment I felt utterly frustrated. As a husband and father, a friend, a minister and therapist and as a human being dreadfully aware of my frailty and limitations, it seemed beyond me to undertake this task. So having nowhere else to turn, I went to my Inner Advisor asking how I could possibly take on the job of restructuring my life. The answers given were custom made for me. Earlier I stated that what we “hear” and the source of the message, in such guidance, is determined by what most readily speaks to us.

Our Trusted Inner Advisor

My life used to be full of disillusionment and disap­pointment, most painfully in myself. I felt friends, family and the Church had also let me down. Mark Twain said, “I read the morning newspaper and spend the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race.” I supported his cynicism. Fortunately, such moments soon passed. Cynicism about politicians, societal leaders, academics and business executives took longer to erase from my judgmen­tal and resentful mind. The only one who never disappoint­ed me is the one I went to as my Inner Advisor ­ Jesus Christ. Don’t be deterred if he is not a part of your belief system. Grant me the same space given to the research sci­entist who found her answers given her by a green lep­rechaun. I am not equating the two figures, not at all. I am simply saying that this was my experience and I am sharing from my heart to yours, not dogma but insights given me by my “contact with the Infinite.”

With his help, I faced the challenge of rewriting the script of my life. Much of what he said is universally applicable. I encour­age you to draw from it what is personally helpful. Put the rest in a “suspense account” for later use, if needed. Personal references are retained to demonstrate how carefully I was given what I needed to know, just as you have or will be given what you need to know. Your guidance lies perfectly within you. As you ask and seek, you will find the insights and strength you need.

Jesus Speaks

When I went within and asked, “How can I be totally responsible for my life? I find it so difficult to accept this idea,” this is the answer I received:

Let me begin to answer your questions with a ques­tion: As an infant, how did you learn to walk when you couldn’t walk? How did you learn to talk when you couldn’t talk? Your parents didn’t lecture you on the biomechanics of walking. You weren’t given lessons in phonetics and vocabulary development. How did you learn these skills?

I guess I learned by observation and mimicry.

That’s right. You learned by being in the presence of oth­ers who could walk and talk. You had the innate creative ability to do what you saw being done. That is all you need­ed. No one told you that you couldn’t do it so you did it.

You can get caught up in what you call “paralysis of analysis,” if you wish, but that is a long, arduous and debilitating path to truth. You know, for instance, it takes several thousand subconscious decisions to take a single step. Do you want to consciously take over the task of knowing how before you do something?  

But how does that relate to the idea of my responsibili­ty for the creation of the world I see? What has that to do with my re­creating it? That is a whole lot harder than learn­ing to walk.

Not really. It’s just that the part of you known as your ego doesn’t want you to learn. If you do learn how to re­create, it knows that it’s out of business. There is no room for the ego in this new production. The ego is homeless in the new world you are about to create. Do you remember what I said about standing at the door of your heart?

Of course. I memorized it when I was just a child. You said, “Behold I stand at the door of your heart and knock. If anyone will hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me.” But I have known about you all my life. What has this to do with what we’re talking about?”

Two things. First you learn to do what you can’t do by watching what others do and then doing it. That’s why I requested that you let me share your company.

Companionship has nothing to do with religious dogma. And your early dogma often kept you from knowing me. You knew about me. That is quite different from learn­ing to walk as I walk. We will discuss the implications of this later. What you need to see now is that once I enter your consciousness, we are to share a meal not climb a mountain.

What do you mean by that?

Perhaps the best way for you to understand what I mean is through a book you gave your little children. It had a picture of a child seated in front of a plate of mashed potatoes. The potatoes appeared to be piled a foot high. His mother is standing in front of him saying, “Eat all your mashed potatoes.” In his eyes she was ordering him to eat a mountain of mashed potatoes.

I do remember it. A funny book.

It was funny because it skewed childish perception in a humorous fashion. I invite you to eat a morsel, not a mountain of truth at a time. Let me serve you one bite at a time. Learn one step at a time. This is all that is asked of you. Don’t make a mountain out of a morsel. I am teaching you how to move from illusion to reality the easy way: consume one idea at a time. Take time to digest it. Make it yours.

If you don’t mind my saying so, I think a lot of people hearing what you just said will think it terribly naive.

I don’t mind a bit. One may think or say any thing one wishes. I’m only interested in what a person’s soul sincere desire is. The only agreement needed is that one seeks to know and live the truth.

But there are a lot of fanatical, seemingly sincere peo­ple who say they are listening to you, following you or fol­lowing God, and they end up doing the craziest things. Those people who drank poison­laced grape Kool Aid were sincerely religious. The men who blew up the World Trade Center claimed they were doing it for God. How do we know that our sincere desire isn’t just another form of mind­less fanaticism?

You need only remember one thing.  You always reflect the qualities of the role model you have as you are developing. If someone claims to have been raised by English speaking parents and they can’t speak English, would you believe them? I speak only in the language of my Father and your Father. It is the language of love, forgiveness, peace and joy. If someone speaks in any other language, you may be sure that they were not trained in the Family I formed. Sit with me in the house­hold of love. Dine with me. That, I assure you, is all you need do.

No grape Kool Aid?

No grape Kool Aid. No fanaticism of any kind.

Using your analogy, what is the first thing on the menu?

That course is already finished.

When? What did you serve me? What did I eat?

You drank. What I served you first was related to thirst. This is a classic example of what I said to you at the outset of this conversation. Long before you under­stood what I meant, you experienced what I meant. Remember my words. “If anyone thirsts, let them come to me and I will give them water that shall quench their thirst forever. And out of their innermost being shall gush rivers of living water.” You drank that water.

Yes I did. It was powerful. It changed my life forever.

Can you explain how you drank?

I see where you’re going with this. No, I can’t. There are no words....

You are beginning to understand. You had a life­changing experience. You know it was authentic. But you cannot explain it. This is why I don’t attempt to explain how you will be able to do what, in this moment, you cannot do. The soul understands a universe of truth the mind finds incomprehensible. For those who don’t know your story, how you became thirsty, it is well for you to tell it.

O.K., I will.

I began this life in a home where you, the church and the Bible were very important, pretty well in that order. My par­ents were the salt of the earth. Dad wasn’t religious in my childhood. But he was a good man. He had a brilliant mind and great integrity. I never saw him do an unkind thing to anyone, certainly not to me. I know now that he was spiri­tual but not religious. Mom was deeply religious. She was the one who introduced me to you when I was a mere child. She’s 100 years old now. And I still tell her it was the great­est thing she ever did for me.

But, as you know, when I got into my teen years, my testosterone­inflamed passion didn’t mix well with my guilt sponsoring religion. Feelings of guilt and what seemed like a total failure to follow you left me tormented. I’ve often quoted Irma Bombeck, one of your funnier friends. She said,“Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.” That “gift” kept on giving, and I kept on buying it. I struggled to be free of it. I gave the effort all I had, but it just wasn’t enough. I tried prayer, positive thinking, repudiation of my feelings. I liter­ally cried. I cried out to God. Nothing worked.

You just expressed a false feeling many people have. You said that you prayed, and it didn’t work. What hap­pened next proves that it did work. Your timing was off. But arrangements were made immediately for its answer. Notice how perfectly the answer fit your prob­lem. I sent two beautiful young women into your life. They were my messengers, the answer to your prayer.

They were my angels.

You might say that. They were no less than just what the Doctor ordered to heal you.

I have to admit that I had never made the connection until you just pointed it out. I mean, the correlation between my problem ­ beautiful women ­ and the solution coming through those two beautiful women. That’s amazing.

Not really. Just fitting, which is the hallmark of the Holy Spirit’s answers. They always fit both the question and the questioner.

It’s been over forty years and I still remember their names: Laura and Esther. Esther was the co­owner of a dry cleaning establishment in which I worked part­time while going to college. Laura was her close friend and roommate. What they shared with me, the clarity and the wonder of what they communicated, made their feminine loveliness unimportant. I wanted only what they possessed spiritually. That may not amaze you, but it does me!

No it doesn’t. But be amazed. It is a good example of God’s “amazing grace.” But grace has never amazed me. Go on with your story.

Nothing they told me about you or God was particular­ly new. But when they presented me with their picture of the Holy Spirit and their experience of Him, when they described the overwhelming power and love He brought them, I knew I had found what I was looking for. That, in spite of the fact that I was from a dignified, mainline church and they were from what I would have previously identified with a denomination from the lunatic fringe of Christianity.

Why were you so sure you found what you were look­ing for?

I don’t really know.

I think you do. Why were you so sure that Laura and Esther had what you were looking for?

I guess because it so resonated. Like hearing Bach’s B­minor Mass. I’m not a musician and I’m not Catholic. But to hear that masterpiece is to be carried into heaven. You just know, that you know, that you know it’s great music. It was like that. I had no doubt that these two angel messen­gers of yours had put me hot on the trail of what I had been searching for.

But you did have your doubts, didn’t you.

I had plenty of them. I recall my nervous displeasure with what I saw and heard at the first church service I attended with them. It was a Sunday evening. The people’s singing was so “undignified.” I wasn’t used to that. They seemed to be mixing a lot of party time with their worship time. People were praising God out loud with no minister or priest leading them. They would spontaneously stand up and lift their hands as they sang. It was scary.

You certainly don’t want people acting like that, do you? Such behavior is generally restricted to what your society sees as “more exciting events” ­ like college foot­ball games or professional baseball games. Then it is permitted, encouraged. No one is offended. But you con­sidered such enthusiasm for God to be inappropriate, even fanatical.

Yes I did. When I first witnessed it, I wanted to run out, but toward the close of the service, I was deeply moved by the quiet spirit of worship that descended on those two hun­dred some people. It was then, again, that I was met by the totally unexpected. A man toward the left front side of the sanctuary stood up. He didn’t turn around. When he spoke his words were like music. I recall what he said perfectly. I have reviewed them scores of times. “You who have come with doubts and unbelief, if only you will believe, I will show you great and mighty things beyond anything for which you have asked or thought.” That was it. Then I “heard” inwardly the words, “This message is for you.” This didn’t end my doubts and confusion. It heightened those feelings. In the days that followed, I plied Laura and Esther with more questions. When they had no satisfactory answers, they were the answer. I wanted what they had. Their theology may not have been all I would have desired; their love, their power to forgive and heal was.

I spent months seeking but not finding. It was a period of growing despair. I felt like I was in the dark night of my soul. There was the lurking sense that I just wasn’t worthy, that my self­contempt was why this spiritual experience wasn’t happening. In this shadowed quagmire of self­doubt, I gave up. Then once again, I was blessedly blindsided. I attended one of those enthusiastic Sunday evening services. I wasn’t enthusiastic. It was held in a little storefront build­ing. You said that you invited me to drink. By this time, I was mouth­dry, lost­in­the­desert thirsty. I would have drunk out of a dumpster. After their humble service, I remained to pray.  I felt empty. Now everyone was gone. I was alone in the darkened church and I felt a deeper loneli­ness in my inner darkness.

It was then it happened. Love, Light, unspeakable Joy flooded my being ­ beyond anything for which I had asked or thought, just as those earlier melodic words had prom­ised. That holy moment was an eternity of love. My obses­sions fell from me like autumn leaves in the wind. What had once blocked the Light of God now cushioned my steps as I walked out of that church into an emerging new world. To my deep gratitude, I would discover that this was no flash­in­the­pan, no soon­to­fade sawdust trail experience. This was a stardust trail. It has gifted my life with God’s love ever since. In my later struggles, that Light has never failed to illumine my path.

As I review my story in the telling of it, I have only one question. Why did I have to go through all that darkness and psychic pain before I entered the Light?

You orchestrated that pain. Remember, I said that you wrote the script for the life you live. None of that pain was necessary. There are no requirements, no obli­gations, moral or religious, certainly no pain, to experi­ence this illuminating Love. Soul thirst is all that is nec­essary. The way is easy. That is why I didn’t say, “If any­one is intellectually convinced of the validity of my invi­tation, let them come....” That would have led to a rational desert. Nor did I say, “If anyone is religious or pure, let them come....” This is what you subconsciously thought I was saying. You said you knew me. And you did, but not very well. You thought I required you to be free of your mistaken behavior first. Only then, you believed, would you be worthy to drink. Built into this belief is the illusion that you need to do something to deserve God’s love. His love has nothing to do with behavior. It is related to being, to who you are. You are His beloved child. Nothing anyone can ever think or do will change that reality. You know this now, but you did­n’t when you were in such pain. The ego refuses to believe such unconditional love exists. That part of the human mind, the insane, separated part, is terrified of such love. So it erects roadblocks ­ intellectual and emo­tional barriers. God had nothing to do with their con­struction. In your confused creativity, you built them, and God is not in the business of removing them. He respects your beliefs, even the false ones, because He respects you. He waits for you to change the belief that lies at the base of your barrier. In that moment, the wall is gone. That is why you experienced a protracted peri­od of pain. You had invested heavily into the idea that you were unworthy. It took that level of intense discom­fort for you to take a leap of faith into what seemed to you like an abyss of separation between God and you. When you did, you found yourself in His loving embrace instead.

You said that I invested in the idea that I was bad. Why would you imply that it was somehow a personal invest­ment. I never wanted those feelings.

On the contrary, you did want them. Just as light is painful to eyes adjusted to darkness, positive, loving thoughts about yourself, when you feel emotionally ugly, are painful. Have you not told many people that only when the emotional pain exceeds the emotional payoff will positive emotional change take place? The “payoff” for you was this: You felt evil and unworthy and deserved to be punished. Your “punishment” was to withhold the blessing you sought. People who experience life as cruel are always living in the midst of self­inflicted punishment. When your insanity was too painful, you chose to think differently. In a moment so minute in time it wasn’t even consciously perceived, you made the mental shift neces­sary to experience what was yours from creation.

You referred earlier to intellectual barriers.  How does this work to keep one from quenching their spiritual thirst?

Intellectual or philosophic resistance is also rooted in a fear of God’s love. The ego delights in the insane belief that it is smarter than God. So the ego sponsors the idea that it needs nothing from God, certainly noth­ing so maudlin as love. God even respects this notion. God sees the soul of a thirsty child behind all the silly intellectual posturing. Botanizing over the Water of Life never quenches the thirst of the human heart. Knowing that the contents of a cup are two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen has never relieved a painfully dry mouth. It is equally foolish in the realm of the soul. It is so much hot air which makes their intellectual Sahara even dryer. This is its advantage. Their arrogance inten­sifies their pain. The threshold of transformation comes more quickly. The time comes when the desire for God’s love is no longer an intellectual option. It is a spiritual necessity.  In that holy moment, just as you experienced, the Light is given.

Let me add that the pleasure seeker is not denied pleasure either. God knows that they too have a soul that can be satisfied with nothing but joy. He patiently waits. He knows that the hedonist’s problem is that pleasures consumed to hide the Deeper Thirst have the effect of drinking salt water. Its consumption sickens instead of satisfies. The thirst grows greater. When these souls awaken to their madness, they drink deeply and love greatly. This is why I said that it is easier for the drunk­ards and prostitutes to know this experience than the righteous.

I’m sure that what you just said sounded strange when you first said it, and it still sounds strange. How is it easier?

Because the religiously righteous see their judgment­prone, escape­filled life style as somehow morally supe­rior. To separate from anyone because you perceive them as wrong, religiously, morally or socially, deepens the illusion I came to expose: that we are separate indi­viduals, separate from each other and separate from God. We all equally live and move and have our being in Him. What wave on the ocean has the most water when they are all attached to the one sea? What person has the most worth when all are equally an expression of Infinite Worth? That is why in the holy moment you just described, old prejudices and judgmental attitudes dis­appeared. It is also why the great load of guilt you car­ried for so long disappeared and your obsession with the opposite sex faded with it. They were the same problem in different forms. You thirsted for the Love every soul has known from before time. When that was found, the shadow of guilt was shone away. And the insatiable long­ing for love you misconstrued as sexual in nature filled that God­sized void in your spirit.

I see now why I felt such a connectedness and love for everyone and why the new circle of friends suddenly sur­faced after this awakening. I gravitated to many people who had had the same Light experience I had. We were Catholics, Protestants, Jews and Nothings, all cele­brating life and the love of God. We were and remain one. I still marvel at how it feels when I meet one of the friends I knew in those groups over forty years ago. I may not have seen them for decades. But upon meeting them, it feels as though we were never apart. Years before we became insep­arable soul partners. What a feast it was! This was in the 60’s when a lot of my peers were getting “high” on drugs. That’s what led Robin Williams to say that if you remember the 60’s you weren’t there. These circles of God­intox­icated people I knew would just get high on the Spirit. It was an incredible mix of laughter, healing tears, fun, worship and profound personal sharing and fellowship. I remember the 60’s. In the truest sense of the adjective, they were for me awesome years.

You have good reason to celebrate those years. During that time you were beginning to learn how to form a new model, the subject at hand. By opening to the mind of God, the Holy Spirit began to re­form your thinking. You referred to what is sometimes called “the psyche­delic subculture.” Even the wall between that world and yours was removed. Many in the religious community scorned these children of God as evil. Not only were they not evil, some were seeking God in their own way as truly as you were. They were attempting to know reali­ty through what they thought was “altered conscious­ness.” The truly thirsty came to know God who is con­sciousness. The only thing that was altered was their perception. 

But I felt what seemed like a distinct altering of my con­sciousness. Wasn’t it?

No, not altered, rediscovered in my consciousness which is one with God. I will expand on this later. Do you recall the man I sent to you to help you see the Holy Spirit at work in these psychedelic alchemists?

How could I forget him? Dr. Bob Cantor.  I was a young Presbyterian minister then working with a group called Omega Fellowship. I had been asked to officiate at a wed­ding of a woman I had come to know through the Fellowship. The groom was a research assistant at Stanford Research Institute. I had arrived early for the rehearsal. As I was waiting for the church to be opened, a man walked up to me and introduced himself as Bob Cantor. He was very cordial. He asked about my work and my connection with the wedding. I told him that I developed groups that were psychologically oriented and were centered in spirituality. He expressed deep interest. Then our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the bridal party and a man with the key to the church.

I noticed during the rehearsal that Bob, who was the best man, kept looking intently at me. Then as every one was preparing to leave, he walked over to where I was standing and said, “Do you mind if I walk with you to your car?” I said I’d be delighted. As we made our way through the parking lot, I turned to him and asked, “By the way, what do you do?” “I’m professor of Psychiatry at Stanford. I’m presently doing research at Stanford Research Institute.” “Well,” I responded with tongue in cheek, “I’m certainly glad I could fill you in on the subject of psy­chotherapy.” He graciously replied,“I want you to know that I am most interested in what you are doing. I would like very much to pursue our conversation further. Would you be willing to come to S.R.I. and tell me your story? I’d appre­ciate it greatly.”  I told him I’d like the opportunity. He gave me his card and said, “Call me and we’ll set up a time.”

When the time came I entered his office not really knowing why I was there.

Let me point out that this is characteristic of soul level creation. Your conscious mind could not have imagined the emotional shift your experience with this man would make possible. You certainly could not have consciously made this moment happen. It was the result of stepping back and letting the Holy Spirit do the “script writing.” You were meeting a brother who was about to show you another grand vista in the world Love creates.

I sense from what you just said what perfect moment­by­moment guidance we are given by God. Of course, I wasn’t so aware of the guidance then. I did feel the impor­tance of the meeting, but as I sat down across from Bob, I also felt foreign to his world.

Because you felt his world and your world were dif­ferent. The illusion of different worlds was the Shadow about to be removed from your thinking.

That makes great sense. Bob’s welcome was warm. There was a light about him that quickly let me know that I knew this total stranger well. I just didn’t know what I knew. After a few words of greeting, he asked me to share a few autobiographical details. I gave him a quick, subjec­tive overview of my life. In the process I cautiously told him about my immersion in holy Love. His response sur­prised me. It let me know that he understood.

I asked him to tell me about his life. When he did, I found out why he understood. He was raised in a Jewish family.  His parents were old­line socialists and he grew up in an intellectual climate of “open­minded atheism.” After becoming a tenured professor at Stanford University, his research led him to experimentation with LSD­25, lysergic acid diethylamide. He theorized from his study that it might be a possible medication for the treatment of schizophrenia, but he knew that experimental integrity required that he ingest the substance. It was the only means of determining by inner “observation” the emotional dynamic generated by this psychedelic chemical.

In the presence of his research assistant, he prepared to take a measured dose of LSD. Lying on a cot in his lab­oratory, he swallowed the contents of a carefully marked and recorded container. In a matter of moments, his inner world was changed forever. Old securely held beliefs van­ished. “I found myself moving through seven very distinct levels of consciousness,” he said. “When I entered the last level, I was aware of being in the presence of Total Love. The light was brilliant and pervasive. I knew with certain­ty,” he continued, “that I was in the Presence of what man through the ages has called ‘The Glory of God.’” He told me that the awareness of life and joy were so complete that he never wanted to leave this Presence. He wanted to stay in this cosmic state of consciousness forever. Then from the midst of the bliss came a powerful, compassionate voice saying, “You must return. You have not yet fulfilled your purpose in life.” He immediately found himself back on the cot in his laboratory.

As he reflected on this inner journey, he said that he knew that it was chemically triggered, but not chemically composed. The utter reality of it was greater than anything a chemical compound could create. It was greater, more substantive, than any so­called objective experience he had ever known. Since this was so, he was confident that others must have had such enlightenment without chemicals.

He researched the subject in several major libraries and after months of search and study he found what he was looking for. Here was a person who described his experi­ence in clear detail. No external substance was involved; but it was all there! In his mystical allegory “The Ascent To Mt. Carmel,” St. John of the Cross described in the 16th century what Dr. Bob Cantor had experienced in the 20th century in a laboratory at Stanford Research Institute.

This brings us to a pivotal factor in every life. Your new­found friend experienced enlightenment. Many have used this same substance and have become delu­sional, even suicidal. What makes the difference? Motive. What you do is not decisive in the universe of Love. One’s motive for doing anything is. Those who sought escape or an easy way out of their responsibilities found light that blinded instead of illumined. Dr. Cantor entered the experience with a will to serve and the uni­verse left him with a vision to live. Once again, you have no way of knowing what you need do to make a world free of Shadows. You can decide why you want to act. If your purpose is to give with no strings attached, to for­give, to love and create, your actions can be flawed but the outcome will still be positive. Motive dictated by the ego is always destructive. Motive, as an extension of your spirit, assures success in your quest for inner peace. Your method to find the Light was quite different from Dr. Cantor’s. Your motive was the same.

That explains what I was thinking at the end of our two hours of conversation. I rose to leave and we embraced. I felt nothing but love and respect for this man. He had begun his spiritual pilgrimage from a vastly different place, as you just said. At the mountain top we had met. We both knew we were one, not just with each other, but with everyone and every living thing. Talk about changing one’s beliefs. Here in a center of academia, I had felt like I was seated in a spiritual sanctuary.

What troubles me is that most good, traditional Christians would scorn Bob’s experience. They would probably brand it as “satanic.” These critics come from my  religious roots. I am grateful for what I was given in that tradition; I found you there. But why are they so prone to judge those who don’t hold their beliefs or adhere to their traditions?

Because they created God in their image. In their ego confusion they forgot that they are created in God’s image. For years you did the same thing. The ego always turns truth on its head. These people would hes­itate or refuse to use the invective, “God damn you,” a very popular response in the world made by the ego, but that is the attitude of the religious who condemn those who believe differently than they do. It is patently insane. Would a loving Father condemn anyone or any­thing? Would a loving Creator determine to punish and torture His creations because of foolish choices that blinded them to His glory and theirs?  Such an idea is indicative of blindness. And religious blindness resists healing most stubbornly because it appears to the blind to be so “righteous.” The ego feeds off of the illusion of being better than others. This belief serves it per­fectly. It would have you believe that your Heavenly Father would damn all His children who don’t believe a particular theological formula about me or Him. Does that sound sane or sensible to you?

It doesn’t now.  But I regret to say that for years it did.

There is nothing to regret. Remember what you have been telling others. You don’t need to regret a Shadow.

Just shine it away, which is what happened. What made you change your mind ­ a clever new argument which attempted to rescue God’s reputation? Was it a theolog­ical discussion?


Then what made you change your mind?

The new and living experience of God’s love, the holy moment we have already talked about. What I had been taught just didn’t square with what I had been shown. But what I saw did fit perfectly with what I had felt about you all my life. I saw your spirit in Bob. I don’t know what his belief was about you. And it just doesn’t matter. That too will be unacceptable to many people I care deeply for.

That isn’t your problem, is it. I was not exactly looked upon as “orthodox” by my religious community, was I?

Not exactly.

Understanding what you just expressed will allow you to see what brought you and Bob Cantor to an iden­tical point; not just at the climax of your journeys, but where they began. He was an agnostic. You were a reli­gionist. Those differences are like the peak and trough of a single wave. The swell which carried you both to the shore of Eternal Love was the same wave, the tidal force of a sincere desire to know the truth. You knew me by name. He didn’t. But he did know an identical thirst, the thirst that led to the experience I made available to everyone. Any person anywhere, regardless of their beliefs, when they thirst after God, will come to the con­sciousness I came to give to the collective consciousness of the human race. That thirst leads them to me. I don’t need to be recognized as a man named Jesus to be the vehicle through which one experiences this God con­sciousness.

What do you mean by this? Are you saying that it does­n’t matter whether all the millions of people over the past twenty centuries followed you or not?

That isn’t what I said. There is much more to life after you awaken. I am always there to help, sharing freely what I have learned when you need and ask for such help. Remember what I told you many years ago: I will do everything you cannot do in order that you may have life; I will do nothing you can do in order that you may have growth.  I desire to give such help to everyone. But my assistance for learning and mind renewal is only implemented when you call on me. That is the value of consciously inviting me to walk with you. Still, my con­sciousness is available, accessible to every human being regardless of their belief system or how good or bad they may appear. This is the very basis of grace which remains honored in word, but not accepted in fact by much of the Christian community.

As I was writing this book, I had no intention of having this dialog with you. Then when I got to the subject of remaking our minds, I knew I had to share where that re­creative process began for me. You were it ­ but I didn’t know you would help me understand the process as you have. I’m grateful, but I’m not clear about some of your statements. I hear you saying that you are involved in every­one’s discovery of reality.  How do you help an atheist, let us say, who doesn’t even believe in God?

Earlier you stated that I was the first person to know that I was every person. The statement is correct. So, logically, if I am every person, I am the atheist; or the terrorist, which at this time will be more difficult for the spiritually slumbering to accept. I came into the world to enter into union with every person. This, not my temptations in the wilderness, became my greatest test.

But if your love was so great, why would it be such a challenge?

You remember that alone I was praying to my Father. Three times I implored Him to free me from this mission. I asked, I pleaded with Him... that if there was any other way to achieve what I knew was His will ­ to return all humankind to union and holy fellowship with Him ­ to do so. Three times I cried out for release. Three times in the Silence I was given the Answer. I knew with unshakable confidence that He would never call me to do anything that would not bless every soul, including mine. I was shown in that hour that it was the only way. Nothing else would achieve what I was called to do.

But if God is love, how could He ask you to do some­thing that, even to you, was so dreadful?

Because it was essential. The record of my Garden struggle is accurate. I cried, “O my Father, if it be pos­sible, let this cup be removed from me.” Some have con­fused the “cup” with my experience of dying on a cross. As strange as it may sound, I wasn’t concerned about being crucified.

What was your concern then? I was taught that this was what your travail in Gethsemane was all about.

I know. That is a common misunderstanding. My dread was that I was being asked to give my conscious­ness to every person, to every spirit who had ever lived, was living then or would ever be born in the future.

What is so difficult about that?  Since you had the power to do so, why was it such a cosmic struggle for you?

The reason is rooted in the one physical law which, as long as man confines himself to time and space, oper­ates in the Spiritual Realm as well. Scientists call it Newton’s Third Law:  For every action there must be an opposite and equal reaction. What I was shown with total clarity in the Garden that night was that the moment I gave my consciousness to everyone ­ the Action ­ every person’s insane, God­separated con­sciousness would come screaming into me ­the Reaction. I saw that in that Moment I would experience the depths of the hell humanity had made for itself.  All the illusions of separation that manifested in murder, hate, loneli­ness, insanity, war, crime, punishment, sickness and death I would palpably experience. I would feel separat­ed from God! His love and peace, His presence were everything to me. He was and is and forever will be everything for everyone whether they know it now or not. To be away from the awareness of Him, even for that infinite moment, was more than I could bear. The vision of living in the mad illusion of death for that day on a cross, for the timeless hours in a spiritual tomb, formed the fuel for the diabolic anguish I knew. That is what lay behind my cries for release. At last I yielded to His will. In that moment my mind stood before the Abyss. I was spent and could go no farther. It was then that our Father sent a host of angels to minister to me. Now I was fully ready to give to you what He had given to me.

Is that why you said on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

It is. I knew nothing of God forsakenness. Yet in the moment I gave my consciousness of Him to you, your hell possessed me. I gave voice to what the human race has been screaming since it first ran into the Shadow of Separation. The illusion of God­forsakenness and death gripped my spirit. I could never have experienced death had I not embraced your illusion of it. In that act, all the world received my consciousness which knows no death or separation. And in my resurrection you are resur­rected. I make no demand that this truth be accepted.  I offer it to everyone, everywhere, always.

But hasn’t God’s love always been available to everyone?

Yes. Always.

Then what did you bring to the human race that wasn’t there before?

I brought nothing new. What I brought was a new access to this Love. Always there have been God’s holy messengers who have brought revelations of His truth in every culture, in all ages. These were unusual spiritual giants. You have mentioned some of them earlier. There was Moses, Socrates, Amenhotep IV, Buddha, Lao Tsu, Zoroaster and many more. They are my beloved Brothers. Did not the followers of Zoroaster, the astrologer physician­priests, the wise men, follow a star to my birthplace? And at his death, did not Buddha prophesy that in five hundred years one would come who would not die? We knew and loved each other even then. You do not know me and what I came to do if you believe that I am somehow in competition with these great spirits, or that I am superior to them. I am one with them. I said to my people Israel that I didn’t come to destroy the Law of Moses but to fulfill it.  I came to unite with every messenger of God in the mission of bringing everyone back to God.

But you said that you brought a new access to God’s love. What do you mean by that, and doesn’t that make you superior?

Not when you understand who I am. The Christ Spirit, the untarnished reflection of God, has always been in the soul. It is the Imago Dei, the image of God, in every human spirit. It is the part of our Being that knows it is on a temporary sojourner in the world, that its home is Heaven. The soul of man has always had the capacity of rediscovering that reality, but the conscious mind, and especially the subconscious, your shadow­land, are incapable of knowing or activating this holy abstraction. For that reason I made the Christ­con­sciousness directly accessible to the subconscious.


Compare the Spirit of Christ with a rose seed, and my human life as I lived it as the rose. The rose seed is the rose.  However, until it is allowed to grow in the soil of the earth and blossom, your heart cannot appreciate the beauty of the rose invisibly present in the seed. In full bloom the rose is affectively defined. In my life, the Spirit of Christ is defined so that your heart may embrace it.

In my union with you, I made this expression of divine love available to your heart, your subconscious. Every soul had the potential of knowing the Christ in them. Subconscious confusion was the obstacle. What I did allows the emotions to love the Rose in them. How clearly it is seen is only limited by the degree of one’s thirst. Deep thirst always brings rivers of Living Water. This is what causes radical transformation.

So that is the Source of Grace; that is what creates “amazing grace,” isn’t it?

That is my gift to the Everyone I knew myself to be.

Some day I’ll understand what you just said. For now I am satisfied to know that it is true. I’m sometimes over­whelmed with joy and peace when I see you in everyone, but I can’t do it consistently.  I know I’m a work in progress. How does what you have just explained apply to our on­going work? Specifically, how does it apply to forming a new model?

This is how it applies. People have become accus­tomed to living in a jungle of shadowed emotions. The more disturbed are even “comfortable” with toxic feel­ings. Each individual is evolving the world they see on the conscious level from the emotional material and beliefs stored in the subconscious. These are the product of thousands of perceptions generated in their develop­ment from birth. The additional factor in the making of one’s emotional belief system are the collective influ­ences. The universal  belief in death is one example. The latter holds exceptional power over human thinking because it has been collectively embraced for eons. Left to your own isolated efforts, it would be impossible to identify the innumerable layers of Shadows one needs to face, forgive and rebuild, as you portray the healing process. Add to that the further confusion created by the flood tide of feelings arising from the world of collective beliefs, and the picture becomes even more hopeless. You must have guidance from a Source far more knowl­edgeable than you have within your ego self. You have already told your readers about their Inner Advisor, the Holy Spirit. He does provide that greater wisdom need­ed. When you enter the mind rebuilding stage, His assis­tance shifts. What He now provides will prove nothing less than miraculous. He now interprets my mind to your subconscious mind in images you can emotionally understand and use.

Throughout my life, I was faced with the task of dis­carding conventional ideas of what it meant to be human. I was carefully guided to new unimagined images.

These images, in turn, translated into my life, my behavior and teachings. When I completed the work given me by God, I had redefined what it meant to be human because I had rediscovered what it meant to be divine. Behind that discovery are the thousands of les­sons I learned for everyone. I gave that Light to every heart. This is why my disciple John described me as “the Light that gives light to every man who comes into the world....” That Light, through the prism of my humani­ty, is all the lessons I learned and gave to you.  They are readily available for the rebuilding of the divine image of your Self. Just ask. I will provide the power, but you must pull the switch. As a youth you learned the scrip­tures, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” And “Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind....” The knowledge and wisdom is mine. The responsibility for its use in your mental renewal is yours. As you remember that we are one, this task becomes possible, even easy. We become happy collaborators in the renewing of your life.

This is the general dynamic behind the successful restructuring of the subconscious. In every case the spe­cific needs of the individual will determine how the wis­dom and imagery are communicated to them. An exam­ple of this is the woman whose “contact with the Infinite” was a green leprechaun. This almost whimsical image communicated without threat to her. Once the intention for transformation is single­minded, the indi­vidual will receive what it can handle and assimilate. Threads of inspired thought are selectively given to weave into the fabric of imagination. In time, the dis­carded dark cloth of old material, once blindly fash­ioned into a shroud for death, you replace with a bright robe for your resurrection. With careful concern for your unique experience, I will show you how this is done.

I conclude our conversation with that promise.

Beyond my words to express it, thank you.



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